It was 4:15am, and I was up again for the fourth morning in a row. I just couldn't get back to sleep. My mind was racing at a million miles a second. What was I thinking about? Everything from my personal finances, to my next sermon, to all the unknowns of my new job, to meeting people's expectations, to the fear of failing God.
And then He hit me like a Mack truck ramming into a matchbox car. I opened my Bible and it practically jumped off the page at me. "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the world." (Job 38:4). OUCH! That one hurt.
Why? Because I was trapped in this thought process that said that what happened in my life was all up to me, and I had better figure out a way to solve it. I had made my self the center of the universe. I wasn't thinking about others as much because I was consumed with my own problems. And as I was consumed, I worried about what in the world I was supposed to do.
Then God took a moment to remind me that I am dust (Psalm 103: 14), vapor (James 4: 14), something that's here today and gone tomorrow. He is not only bigger than all my problems, He is the center of the drama in our universe. This is all about Him. The great controversy, our daily struggles, it's all about Him and whether or not He is truly good, truly love.
Then He reminded me that He could make the rocks cry out (Luke 19:40) if I'm too scared to go forward. He could do that. He doesn't want to, but He could. He wants to use me, and have me trust in Him. He sure is one crazy God, but He's mine and I wouldn't have Him any other way.
So tonight, I'm a little soar but I'm thanking God for the reminder that He is Him, and I am not.
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